American Sign Language
Her fingers flying through the air with purpose,
My teacher gives us truth with practiced patience.
The class observes, in awe, her faithful service:
She guides us through the foreign world of silence.
With watchful eyes, we learn the signs for numbers,
actions, clothes, emotions; and the colors
bejewel the air with ideas unencumbered
by careless sounds, extra that tend to smother.
Excitedly we shape our hands new ways,
communicating with our child-like fingers,
And as we navigate this tricky maze,
a sense of learning and well-being lingers.
This class, who shared so little before signing,
now faces an adventurous horizon.
I used the Shakespearian sonnet form, because I remembered that it is an easier form to use in English, which has few rhymes. I had a lot of trouble finding rhymes for the first words I picked, probably because I wanted to use multisyllabic words. I either changed the words of the sentences or picked another word with which to end the line. I discovered that it was easier to keep the meter going as I went along, and it was really satisfying to complete a line.
Having some feedback on this sonnet was really helpful, because I struggled with some things in it. I tried to keep the rhyme scheme going in one of the stanzas, but then the actual line was pretty vague. I fixed the meaning on that line, and I also altered a line so the rhyme for silence would be closer. After writing this, I also realized that I added an extra syllable to the words at the end of the lines, but I would basically have to rewrite the sonnet to change that, so I just left it. Hopefully you can forgive my flawed writing!
I really like the off-rhymes in this sonnet, like "purpose" and "service" or "numbers" and "unencumbered." It makes the whole thing somehow feel more tangible than if you had used exact rhymes everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sam to an extent, however, I also felt like the slants were pushing it and at the end I don't see "signing" and "horizon" even slanted. But it was a great poem :)
ReplyDeleteI am more interested in the content of the poem and i think it nice that the form does not detract from the subject. Just a note though, Signing and horizon do not rhyme. Perhaps "This class, who shared so little before signing,
ReplyDeletenow faces an adventurous horizon." Could be revised to This class who shared so little before signing/ now faces an adventurous silver lining.
Just a suggestion.